Saturday, May 16, 2009

Mera CCD

I have become so obsessed with this new business venture that I just can't stop pakaoing people about it. By now everyone knows my business plan and I am sure with the amount of publicity I am doing, someone will start it off even before I do. But still, I am taking this risk and will now happily blurt out my plans.


Birth of the self-procliamed great idea: It all started as a childhood dream. I dreamt of becoming a security guard for RBI. But then I never got a chance to fulfill my dream. Not the one to give up so easily, I started getting trained for the coveted watchman profession. But little did I know that one of my blogger dost Parikshith was being trained for the same. Not just he, even a guy from my building always had an eye on the third floor of the opposite building. I am still curious to know what's so special about that third floor except for the girl who wears short skirts and walks down the lane??????? Anyways, the competition has increased and I am in no mood to sacrifice my sleep for this profession. So I have given up the previous idea and am now all set to start my own CCD.

CCD and it's USP: No, no dont mistake me. I am NOT talking about Cafe Coffee Day. I am talking about my CCD (Cutting Chai Dukaan). The USP of my Dukaan would be to serve garma garam chai for just Rs. 2.50 and to serve it almost instantaneously. And oh yes the hygiene would surely be taken care of. Afterall, humein aapki (aur aapke paise kii) Chinta (read: zaroorat) hain.

Flavors available: Like the original CCD, we too shall introduce some naya naya flavors. But yes my favorite adrak wali chai and my health CON-scious friend's favorite Lemon tea would surely be available.

My brand ambassador: Now, yeh badi lambi kahani hain...will tell you some other day as to why he is my brand ambassador.



(and no, he shall not welcome you this way..so chill)

And now the capital: To start anything, we need money (in angrezi), paisa (in almost all languages), panam (in my mother tongue) or in bijnees sorry business lingo...they call it CAPITAL. Right from doodh to chai patti to kursi and table and my CCD executive (jazzy name for chai deliverywala), I need paisa. Initially I thought of issuing IPO for collecting funds for my CCD. But then I want better ideas for this.

So here's your chance my blogger doston...scratch your head, put your brains to work and come up with an idea for collecting initial funds for my business venture. I promise you...if your idea works, I will name my chai after your name like: Sangeeta Masala chai, Sid Lemon Tea and so on. Ok fine, I will give better names don't worry. And yes, you will also get free chai everytime you come to my humble CCD.

27 comments:

  1. hiii

    yaar I want to take ur CCD's franchisee !!

    hehehehehe!!

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  2. your brand ambassador rocks...

    back here after a long hiatus..

    thanks for reminding me of your page..

    chriz

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  3. Make an announcement in your blog that whoever makes the biggest donation to your account will get lifelong supply of chai free for his/her full family ;)

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  4. Getting Capital is a serious issue :)...

    We can issue the IPO in the later stages, I am suitable candidate with more than the required credentials to be the CFO in your CCD with a favourable stake ;)

    As for the money one difficult option is to look for the venture capitalists but another less difficult option would be to try for that RBI security guard once again ;)We will take care of the competition there.
    You don't have to steal the notes but only the print head so we can print it ourselves ;) :D

    Quest

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  5. dont u sing ?
    ek tapri lagau, bhaju mein ghate ghate chai banao...n when they ask 'how much?' say '100 rupees'

    i'm sure they will pay up when mast in ur singing...ho gaya..capital vahi se collect hothi jayegi:) ATB !!

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  6. HO!!! ek idea zindagi ko badal sakta hai!! i'll tell you open up ur CCD and do i'll buy the shares of ur start-up ( u have to offer discount prices though!)
    And yeah regarding initial investment, try getting a loan (these days u have loans for anything and everything!!)
    and yeah do invite me to the opening... phree kaa chaai!!

    cheers
    rammy

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  7. @rum...the 2nd and 3rd idea is out of question. I will convey your gussa to SID. I guess i will execute your idea no.1

    @AS, haan yaar u can take a franchise of my CCD...remember u r the marketing head of my CCD.

    @chriz, thanks yaar for visiting this blog. I am a die hard fan of KRK for reasons best known to no one. I will increase his brand value through CCD, will give u the creativity department for sure.

    @layman, good idea. But what if everybody gives me an idea. God, I wont be able to serve free chai to all of them.

    @quest...I hope no one from RBI reads your idea, they will never allow me or you to become the security guard :( ohh if you are good with the finance thing...will definitely hand over the finance department to you.

    @vinnie...I sing like a crow...I can use your idea in a different way. I will start wearing clothes that are not washed since ages and sing in the local trains. Aise karke I will get funds for my CCD.

    @rammy...ofcourse buddy u r obviously invited for the opening ceremony. you will get free kaa chai don't worry and yes u shall also get the opportunity to take a photo with our esteemed brand ambassador and a personalized chai kaa glass with his autograph ;-)

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  8. hey g3, you are from kerala or tamilnadu???

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  9. @vaisakh PS, I am a tamilian but my native place falls in Kerala. And I was born and am brought up in Mumbai.

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  10. Aray I also wanna be your Business -Partner.... Since I have experience of 16 years of making a Cutting Chai....

    My Qualifications are :-
    MCCA--> Master of cutting Chai Arts...

    Exp--> 16 Years
    Prof Exp--> 2.5 years
    Companies worked with:-- >
    Cadence India
    TK20 Austin USA (2 Years)
    hobbies--> Making varies kinds of Cutting Chai.. using DIP DIP Tea to DuP Dup Tea....

    Address-->
    Pan kee Dukaan, Sansad Bhawan,
    Near Lalu ji Niwas..., Gali n0--543,
    left from Congress 262 office and right from BJP 160 office ...

    I will accept any offer like B-Partner or to be yours employee :)

    With Best Regards,
    Sandy Chai wala

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  11. @sandeep...hehehe too good! We need to ask our HR if you can be given time to focus on yeh ubarti huvi business plan :)

    Anyways I will be glad to have you as my business partner...bas dont ask me for salary ;-)

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  12. Oye, if you even dare to "steal" my brand ambadssador, my brand fiat, my brand maruti, Shri Shri Shri Sanmanya Padma Vibhushan KRK, I'll sue you heavily. Punitive damages/punishment/insaaf amounts to:
    1) making you watch all of KRK's death defying action stunts
    2) getting you to by-heart all of KRK's applause inducing dialogues.

    Cutting chai ki dukan... hehh he he... You're a gone case really. I don't know anything about getting you the Capital ( I'm not even from Delhi, you see) , but I can get you 2-3 buffalos. Let me ask them, right away:

    Me: Hey, Ganga, Jamuna, stop mooing around and get your fat asses to Mumbai.
    Ganga : Moo?
    Me: Not moo, to moo-m-bai
    Jamuna: Moo?


    *Sigh* I'm not making good communication with them right now, but will convince them to relocate to your CCD.

    Chalo, aaj ka bakwas quota poora ho gaya. Reading bhi aur writing bhi. Adore you, girl!!! Keep writing.

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  13. @parikshith...oh please don't do this to me. Two brands can have same brand ambassador yaar...so lets get this settled out of the court...why waste time and money in court kachori sorry kacheri. And please try to convince ganga and jamuna to come here in moo-mbai. I promise, i will sell parikshith beedi to my customers...sacchi!

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  14. Dont convey.. Its ok.. Plus Sid's a really nice guy.. I'll comeback to this page with some more moolah making ideas. Thoda time dedo please!

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  15. issue an IPO.. I already want to invest in CCD :P

    I love chai and can't wait to have it in your chai bar :)

    loved the post for its entertainment value, apart from the business acumen of course.

    oh and do tell me how to contact CCD's HR deptt.. need to forward my resume.. or it'll be great if you can pull some strings and give me a chai job directly :D
    I am an accomplished tea taster.. can almost smell and tell
    heheheh

    Cheers,
    Sharad
    Medley

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  16. @rum, i am appointing you as the Strategic planner of my CCD...You can take your time...but please do this before i turn 80 years old.

    @Sharad...wow tea taster... why did i not think of this. Fine boss...I give you this coveted position right now. Err...please do not expect salary for few months...I need to get things sorted. Once things get sorted I will give your mehnat kaa award. :)

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  17. haha.. great thanks so much!
    as for reward,all the tea that I shall get to drink is more than enough :P

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  18. Where do you want the paisa to be deposited? I am willing to donate some money provided you buy chaai patti from my dukaan! Chaai business is really a very interesting prospect now a days!

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  19. hey blog hopped into ur page! this was sure a fun read :D

    you could always borrow money from buddies n disappear! emotional blackmail is also a viable option!!

    ooh ooh *brilliant idea strikes*..maybe u should make a CCD badge and sell it to bloggers for a buck or so..they put up ur dukan's badge on their page (instant publicity) and u get to make money too!!!

    man!! i can almost see the 'veda peach blush tea'!! lol

    Cheers! :D

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  20. i'll do anything for FREE tea during recession :)

    abey yaar! Mumbai mein rahke paise ki chinta! Hafta vasooli karne ka!
    Brand ambassador rocks! Can i get autograph?

    :D

    LoL @ 'Egss& Tamatars' on comments

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  21. @abhinav...thanks man. Can i get the chai patti at discounted rates? if yes then i am sure this would be a great business deal. I will advertise about your chai patti kii dukaan that too free of cost :)

    @mon espace...curious to know the meaning of your name. I have already borrowed so much from them...o lord they run away when i come grinning towards them :( the CCD badge idea is too good...thanks! will visit your page once my boss spares me from work.

    @DPhatsez, oye all the best for your egg-jam dost. Hafta vasooli is a nice idea...but no one gets scared of me...it becomes like this:

    me: abbe yeh chal hafta nikhal...
    opp aadmi/aurat: hahaha...get lost

    :( so this idea is cancelled...think of something else.

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  22. We can use the Emosanal Atyachar as our jingle.. Lets modify it a lil bit first.. Gooodieeessssssssss!!! Now we even have a song for our CCD!!!!

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  23. hehehe...yaa thoda modification karna padega lyrics mein. Then we can have it as our CCD anthem :)

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  24. dropped in to check on the progress of my future employer.. :P

    how are the CCD plans shaping up?

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  25. Hi sharad,

    no yaar...the plan is as of now stuck up. No funds you see :(

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  26. Funny & Inspiring indeed :).
    Have u also give a thought to scalability . Why don't you get a contract signed by on chai-wala per neighbourhood to get affiliated to your brand :).

    I wud love to go to a place where the good old charm ot Chai is maintaned. I so oppose CCD and the other shops, here's a rant-post on such uber-cool tea-shop in Bangalore :
    http://brownphantom.blogspot.com/2008/10/infinity-and-beyond.html

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  27. yo GV! thanks 4 ur concern. Rest assured i will be safe! :)
    Take care, mate!

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