Movie, Masti, Magic...

Warning: It's a long post...Author should not be held responsible for the reader dozing away before the PC and in turnwasting precious power and energy :)

Characters: Female Robert Langdon (FRL), Mr goofy, Project blooper (your's truly), marathon runner, Ms. kiddo and the godfather. Guest Appearance by: Rangeen Painter and Hari Sadoo.

24th Dec 2009:

Since we had got 3 whole days of break from the mundane corporate life and 2 awesome movies to watch (Avatar and 3 Idiots); all of us including Rangeen Painter decided to watch either of them. The visionary Project Blooper (PB) like Nostradamus predicted that we won't get tickets for either of the movies if we opt for current booking; so she decides to book the tickets in advance. She chooses saturday, 26th dec as the day to go and asks every one if they are ok with the plan. Initially, every one was gung ho about it only to realize later that hari sadoo wanted rangeen painter to report to work on saturday. So now the count had come down to 6.

25th Dec 2009:

Initially, Project Blooper had to handle several differences of opinion during the execution of the plan (which if taken longer time would have been likened to the time taken for constructing the Bandra-Worli Sea Link). While godfather, goofy and marathon runner wanted to watch 3 idiots, ms. FRL wanted to watch Avatar, ms. kiddo the eternal sweetheart was fine with both of the films and so was PB. After 1000 phone calls and frequent SMSes (yeah Vodafone and Airtel were having a ball at our expense) , PB managed to convince everyone for Avatar.

26th Dec 2009:

The D day had arrived. A true professional that PB was, she messaged everybody to reach Lower Parel station at 4.00 as the show was to start at 4.20. But as luck could have it, she overslept and woke up at 3.15 (lower parel was 1 hour away from her home) and predictably even Marathon runner was late. Both of them boarded a train at 3.30 :)

But they were not alone, the others also reached the venue at 4.30 :)....PB and marathon runner

reached at 4.50. We were 30 mins late for the movie. As we were pretty late , we could not understand any damn thing. Though we must admit the special effects were too good and it was truly an exhilarating experience to watch it in 3D. But sadly, there was a technical glitch and with little bit of pressure from everybody (including the braveheart PB), the show had to be cancelled post interval. All were disheartened...Godfather and PB got the money refunded (yeah taliyan bhajao) and goofy got some goodies too from Red FM. This pepped up our spirits and we all had fun fultoo. We danced, posed for endless pics, ate and had fun. Baiscally, we shed all our inhibitions and enjoyed like college going kids.

As we walked down towards the station after all that fun n frolic, PB innocently asked everyone if she can book the tickets for 3 idiots, everybody looked at her and said together

.

.

.

.
.

P.S: Thanks Goofy, FRL, ms.kiddo, marathon runner and godfather for making my weekend so damn special. Love u all for this.

P.P.S: missed u a lot rangeen painter....how I wish you were there, would have had fultoo fun :)

Learn Marketing fundas in My Ishtyle...

Marketing was and still remains to be my favorite subject despite the fact that my marketing professor was an idiot female called Shayari who always favored the guys of my class and gave me less scores in the subject even if I had written excellent answers in the paper (copy-pasted word to word from all brilliant people). But I refused to be bogged down by these stupid marks, as a student of Marketing, there are some Marketing concepts that I have coined (or so would I like to believe)which I would like to share with you. Chalo toh kya aap tayyar ho to learn some good stuff from me??

Arre bhago mat...atleast read toh karo...promise I wont take your viva on this.

Intro to the topic:

Marketing has a concept called Maketing Mix or the 4P's of Marketing (Product, Price, Place and Packaging) which according to Neil Borden is the fundamental receipe for successful marketing. India, a vast country with diverse culture and with dialects of over 1,652 is very tough to please. It takes lot of efforts for Foreign based organizations especially the FMCG (Fast Moving Consumer Goods) manufacturers to understand the psyche of our people and manufacture, market, advertise and convince the consumers about their products without hurting the sentiments of any of the sentimental community of India. But I am not here to talk about how to market things and how to convince people about your product and blah, blah...I will leave that task for Philip Kotler (sab main karungi toh woh kya karega hain naa). Today I am going to talk bout the 3 S of Markets (please note: It is markets...not marketing) that holds the pulse of every indian.

Shaadi Market:
Shaadi is one of those endless occassions that every Indian home looks forward to. Whether it is a rural area or an urban one...Shaadi toh bhaiyya dhoom-dhaam se honi chahiye...so what if the girl's family has to shell out lakhs to please the guy (who is so lazy that he can't afford a home or a car for himself, he wants it all instant). The reason why I call Shaadi a Market is because...well because it is indeed a market. The guy is a brand (MBA brand, Engineer brand, CA brand)...depending upon the guy's educational qualifications and his job, the gal party pays for him...so while an engineering + MBA brand is equivalent to apna Zodiac Shirts and his market rate is 5-15 lakhs dowry, an only graduate guy is equivalent to linking road kaa flowerwala gujju shirt and his rate is a paltry 2-3 lakhs. (guys no offence please, but I dont like this attitude of parents...thankfully my parents were good and did not demand any dowry from my sister in law).

Share Market/Stock Market:
Wikipedia says "A stock market is a public market for the trading of company stock and derivatives at an agreed price; these are securities listed on a stock exchange as well as those only traded privately". But forget Wikipedia's definition, in India especially in Mumbai...stock market means instant money. People become rich within a day by buying stocks at a certain rate and selling them at a higher rate within the same day or maybe in few days to come (depending upon the situation of the company and the share market per se), something that you cannot expect from banks. Infact, Dalal Street where BSE is situated is considered to be one of Mumbai's major landmarks.

(BSE-Bombay Stock Exchange)

Sabzi Market:
Sabzi Market or Vegetable Market is one of the favorite hangouts of every lady. This is the place where all the ladies from the neighbourhood come to discuss super important stuffs like receipe of bhendi fry, badti mehengai, mrs sharma's extra marital affair with mr. mehta and yes about how mrs.shah had draped her sari clumsily. So important is their discussion that the rickshawala and even the monster buses have to patiently wait for the busy ladies to move from the middle of the road to the footpath. Infact aunty log compete with each other to buy 3 nimboos at 10 rs (sabziwala bhaiyya sells 2 nimboos for rs 10). I love this place for it's hustle and bustle. But on a serious note, I have learnt the following 1-2 skills from my vegetable buying experiences:

a) I have learnt the negotiation skills...nahi bhaiyya mujhe 1 kilo kanda 10 rupai mein do types...which I intend to implement in my future jobs...nahi sir mujhe yeh job 10 lakhs per annum mein do...5 lakhs per annum bahut kam hain :-)

b) I have learnt to manage things within a given budget and if I exceed my budget I take things in udhari (credit) and manage my money properly the next month so as to chukao the sabziwala's udhari.

(dus kaa do...dus kaa do)

Ok friends, I am done with my lessons in Marketing sorry Market...hope it was of some use to you (even if it was of no use, you need not be honest...please say that you seeked enlightenment after reading my post).

P.S: Sorry for my Loooooooooooooong Post!!! I will be back with some more lessons very soon.Bhaag gaye kya vapas???

Tag kaa bhoj

Hi everybody,



I know u all missed me a lot...don't worry...I am back atleast for few days. There's less of work in office so I can utilize my time in doing something fruitful...so here I am completing a tag which has been bestowed upon me by two of my favorite blogger dost Rammy and Paro sorry Parry.



1.What is your current obsession ?

I purchased a new Samsung handset few weeks back, so obviously it has become my current obsession for now.



2. What are you wearing today?

Shopper Stop kaa formal shirt and Linking Road kaa trouser



3. What’s for dinner?

pehle lunch toh ho jaaye...



4. What’s the last thing you bought?

I bought a packet of Bingo Mad Angles just 15 minutes back



5. What are you listening to right now?

My boss shouting randomly at everyone ;-)



6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?

Rammy is our film critic and Parry is my regular dose of entertainment. Ab is se zyaada I can't praise both of them as I am still awaiting my pay check from each of them :)



7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?

Malabar Hills mein ek ghar mil jaaye toh it would be great.



8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?

Chaas, chaas and only chaas



9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

Arthur Road jail...I want to meet Kasab. He is having a nice time inside while we Mumbaikars are forced to put up with traffic problems b'coz of him.



10. Which language do you want to learn?

Java, C++ ;-)



11. What’s your favourite quote?

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress

-Mahatma Gandhi

12. Who do you want to meet right now?

As said earlier, I want to meet Ajmal Kasab...want to ask him questions in my style and shoot him if found guilty.



13. What is your favourite colour?

Black



14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?

A yellow kurti which I had bought with my first salary :)





15. What is your dream job?

My dream is to become an entrepreneur and open a fast food center. There is nothing like being your own boss, hain naa?



16. What’s your favourite magazine?

Outlook. I like their coverage on political issues.



17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?

kyun gareeb kaa mazak udhate ho...ask me what would I do with Rs 100, I will spend it in a decent udipi restaurant.



18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?

People belonging to high class society wearing micro mini kapdas. Arre agar paise nahi hain tailor ko dene toh mujhe keh dete...humara anil tailors 125 Rs mein awesome kurtas aur salwar kameez stitch karke dega...sacchi



19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?



Arre mujhe koi Manish Malhotra, Rohit Bal ke designs samjhao...what is so creative and unique about their designs that makes people gaga about it? Ab koi aise kapde pehenke bahar jayega kya?





20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?

Ghajini wala hairstlye...don't laugh...if hariharan can keep long hair and wear a ponytail, why can't I have a short hair...bolo bolo.



21. What are you going to do after this?

I will go for lunch and then go for a walk towards the sea.



22. What are your favourite movies?

RDB, Minority Report, Speed and Swades



23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without?

I can't survive without my vaseline moisturizer cream



24. What inspires you?

I am inspired by my blogger pal AS. She has taken a huge step towards fulfilling her dream...I want to do something like her. All the best AS.



25. Which is your all-time fav song

It would be Yeh hain meri kahani from the film Zinda



26. Coffee or tea?



TEA...anyday, anytime.



27. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?

Listen to music...nothing can heal you better than music.



28. What is the meaning of your name?

Gayathri means goddess of intelligence...haso mat...my dad still believes that I am intelligent



29. Which other blogs do you love visiting?

Some of the blogs that I love reading are:



Not Just Another Blog, Blunt Edges, Fullon Bakwaas, Hummingwords, Eruptions in my deranged head and Insignia's BLog





30. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?



Gulab Jamun and Rasmalai.



31. Favorite Season



Monsoon...hope it rains well next year. Indradevta kuch karo naa.



32. I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?



Accha hain come, come...there is nothing at home...I was anyways wondering what 2 eat, chalo cook mil gaya.



33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?



Ignore them...that's it



34. What are you afraid of the most?



Roaches, Lizards, rodents and zero bank balance



35. My question: One historical moment that u wanted to witness





I tag: Nahi, nahi yeh gunaa main nahi karungi...u can self-tag yourself like how parry did. Enjoy!!!

A story of our life.

I had received this beautiful mail from one of my friend. I am sharing it with you...do read it whenever you get time. I bet all of you will be able to relate to it (though the subject line reads: Emotions of a software techie).

WARNING: It's a senti and longish mail...so people who are fond of such mails should surely read it and people who can't take it should also surely read it ;-) (come on ab apne dost ke liye itna toh kar sakte ho naa)

EMOTIONS OF A SOFTWARE TECHIE

It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds gathered in the sky and nature was in its ominous best. I took a break from my work and went to the pantry to grab a cup of coffee. I had a sip and went near the window to see the rain pouring down heavily outside the glass structure. I was inside our huge office building, unruffled by even the fierceness of the nature.

Through the heavy transparent glass, I could see a small girl trying to hold on to her umbrella which the wind was snatching away from her. I felt sorry for the girl, and was happy that I was not in a similar pathetic situation. Yes. I take pride for the fact that I am a software engineer.

I have everything which a common man would envy; money, status, respect, you name it I have it.

I always wanted to be software professional and here I am, working for one of the best firms in the world. But then, am I really happy? Now, I could see an imprint of my palm on the other glass window, through which I reminisced my past, basked in the warmth of the sun shine. My childhood was so much of fun. I vividly remember those rainy days, when I hugged my mother tightly during sleeping listening to all the stories told by her.

Now, I have a big house here, but then it is just a house, not a home. My parents are pretty far away from me now. I have a cell phone to talk to them everyday, but then I really miss those dinners which I had with my family everyday. I could easily afford to taste all the different cuisines these days, but the best of food there, lack the love and affection which is present in the food prepared by my mother.

I threw a lavish party for my colleagues for my birthday, but then they would never replace the birthdays when my friends secretly brought a cake and at the end, half of the cake would have ended up on my face.

The couple of hundred bucks that u save for a long period just to give a treat to your friends in the road side chat shop can never give the pleasure even after spending a few thousand bucks these days.

The scene of me crying and refusing to have dinner on the day when I fought with my best friend came to my mind. Today, she has gone far away from me, taking away my love and with it my life, but I am sitting and coding here with a false smile on my face. Everyday I meet new people, but then I long ceased to make a new friend.
It's true that I have a lot of things now.

I have a nice bed, but no time to sleep. Lots of money, but no friends to spend it with. The latest designer clothes, but a worn out body .

Awards for technical excellence, but no reward for the crave for peaceful ambience. A confident demeanor, but a reluctant and apathetic mind. Full of rain, but no sunshine even in the farthest distance.
Now, I could see the small girl on the road enjoying in the rain with her umbrella firmly in her grip. She might not have all the comforts which I have, but then she has the innocence and fun which I lost a long time back.
I have decided to come out of this false fantasy, even if it is at the expense of losing the tap of the software engineer. I am going to again enjoy my life. I am going to go out in the rain and play with the small kid now. I removed my tie, and went near my computer to shut it down. Just then, I saw a new mail alert in my mail box. I slowly opened Lotus Notes and I found a message from my manager with an attachment saying that there was a critical defect in the code and I have to fix it soon. I convinced myself that I am not going to get bogged down again by these pressures and stick to my decision. I ignored the mail and went to the rest room. After a couple of minutes, the software engineer in me came out, his shirt tucked in, sat before the computer, and started typing,,

Sir,
I am looking into the defect and will send the patch files before EOD.
Regards,
Software Engineer.

Happy Diwali everyone and thanks AS...

This is a gift from AS.

Thanks AS for this sketch. I zimply loved it :)


P.S: I wish you all a very Happywali Diwali and a prosperous new year! God bless u! Enjoy!

Wake Up Sid: An Amateur Review

Yesterday like AS, I happend to watch 'Wake Up Sid' and must tell you...I enjoyed every bit of the film.

Firstly, I must admit that I wanted to watch this film only because the title has my brother's name and I wanted to know if my brother is as lazy as Sid Mehra played by Ranbir Kapoor in the film. But then I realized that Sid Mehra was more like me and not like my bhai.

Sorry I drifted from the topic. I was supposed to write my amateur review of the film. Ok so the film is about this boy Siddharth Mehra (amir baap kaa ek akela beta) who is terribly lazy, irresponsible and has no ambition in life...ekdum mere jaise. Siddharth Mehra's life revolves around his friends, his videogames, parties and his passion for capturing everything in his camera. On his college farewell party, he happens to meet Aisha Banerjee played by my current fav actress Konkana Sen Sharma. Aisha is basically from Kolkata and comes to Bombay eeks sorry Mumbai to become a writer. She is ambitious, independent and a mature girl. Sid happens to be her first friend in Mumbai. He helps her out in finding a rented flat in mumbai, helps her in setting up the house and also celebrates her birthday. Meanwhile, a series of events compel Sid to leave the conmforts of his house and moves in to Aisha's home. Initially, he continues to be the same, lazy Sid. But with a cleanliness freak partner like Aisha, nobody can remain that way for a long time. He changes for the better. He gets an internship job in 'Mumbai beats' a magazine for which Aisha works (her boss played by Rahul Khanna was way too good, how I wish I had a good-looking boss like him). The climax was way too predictable, but was still good.

The transition in Sid from being an irresponsible, immature boy to a mature, responsible man has been beautifully captured by Ayan Mukherjee (the director). Even the songs were youthful and fresh. Infact, the song 'Iktara' was so soulful kii kya bolun...I have become a fan of Amit Trivedi (the music composer of that song). Finally the performances were also excellent. Right from Sid, Aisha, their friends and even chotu, all were brilliant.

My fav scene? It has to be the first scene in which Sid is preparing for his final exams. He is studying accountancy, he reads the question, prods on it for 5 whole minutes and tadaaaaaa he is back to what he is best at doing...TIME PASS. Maine kahan naa he is just like me.

P.S: Karan Johar, thanks for producing this film. I am glad that you have come out of the family drama syndrome and I hope you will make or produce more such films. I heard Kurbani and My name is Khan is going to be good...so I will wait for it.



P.P.S: To all the political parties...the pronunciation of the city's name will not take away the basic spirit and vibrancy of the city which it is famously known for...so why worry if it is prounounced as 'Mumbai' or 'Bombay'. Please there are more problems to tackle, aap wahaan dhyaan do.

Happy b'day doordarshan...

Year 1989: It was a sunday. 4 year old gaya3 sat on her granny's lap and watched Arjun fighting with Kauravas. The opening score was her all-time favorite. She could not sing it properly, she made mistakes in pronouncing the sanskrit words, but she loved it anyways.

Year 1990: It was a sunday. 5 year old gaya3 did not know what malaa dee ad was all about. She innocently sang the mala dee garb nirodak golis jingle when a guest asked her to narrate a poem. Her embarassed parents took her to bedroom and told her to narrate baba black sheep the next time someone asks her to narrate a POEM.

Year 1992: It was a sunday. 7 year old gaya3 cried and threw her compass box at her brother because she was forced to go for Balvikas (a moral science class meant for kids) when Potli baba kii kahani and Jungle Book was aired. She loved watching Jungle book, but her parents wanted her to become a good human being and not a female Mowgli.

Year 1993: It was a sunday. 8 year old gaya3 was super excited because her bhai had tuned DD Metro in their TV set, DD metro was more fascinating and more entertaining than DD1. She started watching Junoon without fail every week.

Year 1995: It was a sunday. 10 year old gaya3 was surprised to see more channels being tuned in her TV set. She stared hard at the TV set when her bhai watched MTV. It was nothing like chayageet or chitrahaar that she used to watch every sunday. It had more of international songs and was more 'yo' than DD. She liked it. But she was still faithful to DD Metro.

Year 2000: As time passed, 15 year old gaya3 started loosing interest in watching DoorDarshan. She found it dull, boring and preferred watching world cup matches in Star Sports than watching them on DD. She was hooked to Cable TV.

Year 2008: Gaya3 now a 23 year old girl suddenly realized that the content of the programs aired on the various channels were almost similar. Every serial or a show was a xerox of another show or serial. She realized that entertainment is now pure thrash and that people have been fooled into watching this thrash. The mahabharat that was aired in 1980's appealed to her more than the mahabharat aired in 2008. The Jaspal Bhatti comedy 'Flop Show' made her laugh more than The Great Indian Comedy Show. A dull and drab presentation of authentic news made more sense to her than the stupid anchors shrieking at the top of their voice in every news channel without any rhyme or reason. She missed the purity and innocence of Doordarshan. But then the cable TV had made her a slave and she never switched on to Doordarshan though she was tempted to do so.

Year 2009: This week, Doordarshan celebrated it's 50th year. Gaya3 has vowed to watch Doordarshan for a whole week starting from tomorrow just to see if Doordarshan has changed it's content/format in order to keep pace with the changing tastes of the audience.

P.S: Belated Happy b'day Doordarshan. I am your fan too though not a loyal one. I know that you have a great fan following in remote areas of the country and am proud of your existence.

Note: I know most of you might have watched Doordarshan as a kid and might be having some fond memories. I do not know if I am successful in reviving those memories, but these videos surely revived the old memories of my childhood. Hope it brings a smile on your face too. Enjoy!









This is a compilation of some of the famous ads that were aired during the 80's and the early 90's



And finally this is my favorite...infact it's the current ringtone of my cell phone :)

I am Humane

I got this award from Insignia.

Thanks insignia for this award...I wanted to give an acceptance speech but with writer's block, I am also suffering from advanced stage of bol bachan block...so I will reserve that acceptance speech for some other similar moments.

Thanks everyone...will be updating my blog in few hours....

Phir wohi......

To all the pankhas and AC of my popular (don't laugh) blog,

Here is an advice from me (actually copied from shanu), if you are suffering from writer's block, if you don't know what crap to write and if you do not wish to be forgotten by your blog friends, then ensure that all the kind souls exisiting in the blogosphere tag you. Last week rammy and insignia had tagged me. This week it is Shanu who has tagged me. Thanks dost! Aakhir ek writer's block kii patient hee dusre writer's blockwali patient kaa dard samajh sakti hain. So here's Gaya3 writing from the airconditioned prison about her dastaan:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4 –It is my office diary and page 18 is blank sorry :(

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch air? – My colleague's bald head actually :P

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? – office mein TV nahi hain boss...but the last thing I saw was the search operation for Andhra CM. Sad he's no more. May his soul RIP

4. Without looking, guess what time it is? – 12.40 PM

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? – 12.45 PM

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?- One colleague bitching about another...hehehe

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? – At 10.30 AM, I boarded a relatively khali train today

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?- My mailbox to check if I have any work to finish...nah! today is relaxing day for me...yayyyyyyyy!

9. What are you wearing?- Kapda boss. To be precise Yellow shirt and Orange trouser ekdum govinda types :P

10. When did you last laugh? – Just now when my colleague shared a joke with me...

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in? – Painted walls with cracks developing on them.
12. Seen anything weird lately? – Yeah, a blind beggar who could see once he got off the train

13. What do you think of this quiz? Time pass karne kaa bahana mil gaya

14. What is the last film you saw?Quickgun Murugan (it was funny...MIND IT!!!)

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?- I will acquire my office and become it's CEO :) juice peevano, carom ramvanoo, majaanee life! :P

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!- I keep changing my career plans@60 seconds daily

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?- I would eradicate illiteracy

18. Do you like to Dance?- Ofcourse, I am a pro in Visarjan Dance boss...today I will go to girgaon chowpatti and do my famous visarjan dance

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?- Itni durr kii soch hain nahi, but then I like this name Vanshi (flute)

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?- Again inti durr kii soch hain nahi meri...but Kamina kaisa rahega? (hehehe sorry) I would keep Arjun

21. Would you ever consider living abroad? – Nahi main daddy, mummy, siddhu se durr nahi reh sakti (wah! I am proud of my dialogue delivery)

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? – Aa gayi phir se...now you better learn to be disciplined here.

I tag: Sam, AS, insignia and Rammy(sorry doston...yeh dastaan chalta rahega)

P.S: I hope I write (crib actually) about something else the next time.

Sach kaa Saamna

I have been tagged by many...but this tag was really fun. I felt as though I am in the Sach kaa saamna sets. Thank you rammy and insignia for tagging me.



The rules of this game are thus…

RULE 1You can only say Guilty or Innocent

RULE 2You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

RULE 3Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 20 of your friends to answer this.



Asked someone to marry you? Innocent

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent

Ever told a lie? Guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty

Kissed a picture? Guilty

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty

Held a snake? Innocent

Been suspended from school? Guilty

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent

Stolen from a store? Innocent

Been fired from a job? Guilty

Done something you regret? Guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent

Kissed in the rain? Innocent

Sat on a roof top? Guilty

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent

Sang in the shower? Guilty.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent

Shaved your head? Innocent

Had a boxing membership? Innocent.

Made a girlfriend cry? (Guess its girlfriend or boyfriend) Guilty.

Been in a band? Innocent

Shot a gun? Innocent

Donated Blood? Innocent

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent

Been too honest? Guilty

Ruined a surprise? Guilty

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Guilty

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty

Joined a pageant? Innocent

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty

Had communication with your ex? Innocent

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty



Now it's my turn to tag people...err, well I won't tag anybody...Jisko bhi sach kaa saamna karna hain u can do it :)

Nobody cooperates in corporate…

I am 23 and have been a part of the big, bad corporate world since my teenage days. My first tryst with the big, bad corporate world was when I was 18 years old. I used to do my summer internship then. Whatever I earned as a stipend during those two months would be my pocket money for the rest of the year. My parents were not too impressed about this, but then they realized that kids learn certain things only when they are exposed to the big, bad world.

Agree or disagree, according to me no management book or MBA teaches you the following lessons:

1. He who knows to sweet talk has a bright future

2. No matter how hard you work; the frequency at which you show your face to the management decides your vertical growth in the organization’s hierarchy

3. No matter how trustworthy your female/male colleague is, don’t bitch about anyone in the office. You never know kab kaun party badlega.

4. Be selfish, don’t show the management that you can give your blood and sweat for the company. If your boss tells you to work for extra time, ensure that you get benefits like drop till home, comp off, free dinner etc etc.

5. Don’t ever allow the company to take you for granted because, today the company which is treating you so well will not think twice before kicking you out tomorrow.

6. Be diplomatic even if it’s not in your blood. I have a sharp tongue but I talk to my colleagues in a very politically correct manner. I sound like an 80 year old then :)

7. Don’t be too happy if your company arranges events such as DJ party, quarterly parties and blah, blah…fine they act as a good stress buster but tell me can there be a better stress buster than getting time to spend with your family?

I remember learning about corporate ethics and management principles during my grad days. Today I understand it was all shudh bakwaas. Ethics and principles are just on paper, they are all utopian concepts. They do not exist at all. Today I am left disillusioned. I have been witnessing lot of politics, lot of bitching, and lot of insecurity since the age of 18. I am a mute spectator and I hate it. I am trying to run away from this corporate duniya, but the sight of Gandhi notes keeps bringing me back to the Air Conditioned Prison. My parents say that I have become very hard hearted, well can’t help it, the zalim duniya has made me like this. I have become big time kamini and I do feel guilty sometimes, but then honestly I can't help it...I have to be that way.

Oh from kamini I am reminded of this song from the movie kaminey, I am leaving you with this song. It has become my current fav song now.



For people who have not yet joined the corporate world:

You need not get worried or disillusioned; I don’t think all companies are that bad.

Amul Hoardings...it can't get butter,coz it's the best!

I love ads…purani, nayi, koi bhi chalegi. Though I am a huge fan of Mentos, Fevicol and Vodafone ads, my all time favorite has to be Amul, no no I am not talking about that Amul chaddi and banianwala ads (eeks I hate those ads), I am talking about Amul butter. The Amul Hoardings occupy a special place in my heart. If you have missed on some imp news, no problem, the amul hoardings would cover those issues in their own ishtyle. Don’t believe me? check these images, I am sure you will love them.



This hoarding was put up after Ratan Tata announced his plans to manufacture the affordable nano cars.

I like Sreesanth. But I wonder kii Sreesanth ko aakhir gussa kyun aata hain?

babuji alert rehna, politics mein zara sambhalna, oh bade dhoke hain, bade dhoke hain is rah mein (hopeless parody from my side)


Boley toh I love this hoarding. It looks cute

The caption 'chai ho' reminds me of bun maska with chai that were available in Iranian hotels. yum yum...i miss them now :(


I love the way Amul plays with words: Butter ko Boot-er bana diya. Now you know why I said Amul hoardings can't get butter sorry better than this?

And finally, this one remains my all time favorite. Loved the way the artist had portrayed the confused eyes.

Haan toh doston, aaj ke liye itna lesson khafi hain. Coming Next: my opinion on news channels and the hungry journos :)

Till then...enjoy this TV commercial of Amul...My mom used to zabardasti make me drink doodh by showing this ad.

A letter from pyaasi aatma

Dear Indradevta aka Rain god,

Hi Indra. Wassup buddy? how u doing? Accha listen listen it's mid-june now and as per what my geography teacher said, june-sept is monsoon time for us. But then, it's mid-june now and all that we are witnessing here is chubti, jalti garmi. Kya huva god? Why this sudden delay? Kya aapke idhar bhi cost-cutting chalu hain? yaa kya aapka megha rani ke saath break off ho gaya? Anyways I do not know what's the matter, just wanted to convey to you that we poor creatures on earth are melting like molten cadbury choclates. We sweat as though we have taken bath in salt water and our clothes stink as though it has not been washed for 1 whole year. And no we are not even ready to buy the nth dabba of Nycil and Dermicool powder. So god if you want us to give a good feedback about you during your appraisal time, you will have to patch up with megha rani soon and bless us with rains. And if megha rani is not getting pataoed, then fikar not god, all you need to do is:



1. go to www.youtube.com and search for Raj Kapoor's Pyaar huva ikraar huva song,

2. watch the video with rapt attention, by heart the tune and andaaz of Raj Kapoor,

3. arrange for an orchestra,

4. stand below megha rani's balcony with flowers and choclates and sing this song.



Dekhna megha rani maan jayegi...this is a tried and tested formula, hence you can use this method bindaas. Bas kuch bhi karo, we need some respite from this chubti jalti garmi. As for me, you know like every monsoon...I am waiting for that moment when I can sit on the grills with a cup of hot masala chai and onion pakodas, inhale the mitti kii kushboo and enjoy rains. I know you will not let us down like the MET department. I trust you completely :)

Awaiting your reply in Actions...

Your's truly,
Pyasi Aatma

Some Mahaan Vichaars from gaya3

Ok I need to admit this, the idea of writing this post came from vinnie's posts on ATM and Date laws. So impressed was I, that I decided to write some laws in my own ishytle.

I am in my office sipping tea (that has pahaad jaisa sugar) and am typing this post as my boss is nowhere to be seen today :)

So here we go, given below are my mahaan vichaars on 'BOSS' . Like him or hate him, but you just cannot ignore him. This is my way of paying respects to all those bosses under whom I have worked for two years.

My vichaars on Bosses

1. All bosses are hari sadus*, but all hari sadus are not bosses

2. Your boss is ON time when you are slightly beyond time

3. Your boss will be late the day when you are ON time

4. You invariably get caught up with extra work on the day you want to leave early (moulin thanks for this.)

5. Your boss will compulsorily suffer from amnesia or short-term memory loss just before the appraisal period

6. The company/boss decides on cost-cutting policies only during the pay hike season

7. Your Facebook page is always open only when your boss comes to your workstation to discuss some top priority work issues

8. Higher the rate of treating your boss with RESPECT, higher are your chances of promotion

9. Higher the rate of arguing, lower are your chances of promotion

10. Your boss always calls for meetings when its 3.30 PM and when you are in a mood for afternoon siesta.

11. Your boss is equally a frustrated soul as you.

*-If you have seen the Naukri.com ad, you will know who Hari Sadu is. For those who have not seen it, Hari Sadu is a kadoos boss who loves to iltreat his employees. Later on, the employee gets back at him by calling him hitler, arrogant, rascal and idiot under the pretext of spelling his name.

P.S: I need to admit, my current boss is nothing like what I have mentioned above. He is one of those rare bosses who treat their employees with respect. If you have any inputs to add, do feel free to do so.

Koi bhi desh perfect nahi hotha, use perfect banana padta hain...

Do you remember this dialogue from Rang De Basanti?? This movie was one of my all-time favorites. No, not because I am a die-hard fan of Aamir Khan or AR Rahman. It's just that the movie and especially this dialogue reminded me of what my daddy said years ago. He said: "beta, society is bad not because of the actions of bad people, it is bad because of the inactions of the good people'. I agree with him completely.

We often have this habit of cribbing. Yeh accha nahi hain...woh accha nahi hain....politicians are like this, bureaucrats are like that. I remember this incident...one of my aunt had come from UK to visit us, as she cribbed endlessly about how filthy our country is and how neat UK is; I noticed that the aunty was throwing choclate and biscuit wrapper on the roads. When I pointed out that she was dirtying the road, she casually said "arre, what's the big deal. Everyone does it naa". I just could not digest those words, I turned red, blue, green, yellow and all the primary and secondary colours available in the colour pallette and ran away from the spot. On one hand these people crib about how filthy and dirty our country is and on the other hand, these same people contribute towards making the place untidy.

Forget cleanliness, people do not even follow the traffic rules. Ab if you cross the road when the vehicles are moving, accident nahi hoga toh kya hoga. Above that, when the traffic police catches you, you get away by bribing him. Woh bhi happy, tum bhi happy.

Now whenever I take this topic, people try to hush me and tell me that I am ranting hopeless things and that we Indians can never improve. But I wish to disagree with them. Everybody has the scope for improvement. Valmiki the great was a rogue before he became a sage. You have to initiate the change. At the cost of sounding pompous, I wish to tell you something. I never throw wrappers and other stuffs on the road. Either I find a dustbin or if I find none in the vicinity, I carry it home and throw it in the dustbin. My friends used to tease me over this until one day, one of my friend got so accustomed to this weird habit of mine that she unconsciously started throwing things in the dustbin instead of throwing it on the road. That was the day when I really felt like a true winner.

So, the moral of the kahani is that if you wish to see a change in the society, initiate it. Don't wait for others to do something for you...desh will be perfect only if you make it perfect. And if you cannot do anything, then please stop cribbing.

Ok...aaj kaa lecture yahin khatam hota hain...Again will leave you with one of my most favorite songs from RDB. The RDB effect was so enormous that the public woke up from its slumber and saw to it that the Jessica Lall case gets solved soon.

The updated version of A to Z

I have got this part-time job of taking care of a noisy, rondu baccha. Not that I am paid for this baby-sitting and shitting job, but I took it up just for time pass. I was told that the kid needs to be taught A-Z and some nursery rhymes so that he will be ready before joining the play school this june. In a ekdum rani lakshmi bai ishtyle, I accepted this challenge. Now, that I believe in upgrading the existing educational system, I taught the kid A-Z and nursery rhymes in a different manner. Needless to say, the kid has learnt it all very fast and the mom is fuming, god knows why.

A-Z (some words are missing)

A- AIADMK

B- BJP

C- Congress

D-DMK

J- Janta Dal

M- MNS

N- NDA, NCP (bacche kaa choice)

P- Praja Rajyam

R- RJD

S- Shiv Sena

T- Telegu Desam Party

U- UPA

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill,

To fetch a pail of water,

God knows what they did up there,

They came down with a daughter

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

I wanted to teach the kid this poem...but then as Circuit tells Munnabhai...you cannot find stars in the sky now. So unfortunately (for me) or fortunately (for the mother of the kid), I could not teach the kid this famous poem effectively :(

Maths: The subject that I loved to hate

1 and 1= 11

4 and 4= 44

8 and 8= 88

00 and 7= James Bond

(some idiot teacher said that the function of 'and' is 'to add'...but I did not want to complicate matters for the kid, so taught him this method :P )

This is just a preview, picture toh abhi baaki hain mere dost ;-) I am sure the kid will grow up to be a smart kid 'like ME' if he is guided by me like this. What say???

Mera CCD

I have become so obsessed with this new business venture that I just can't stop pakaoing people about it. By now everyone knows my business plan and I am sure with the amount of publicity I am doing, someone will start it off even before I do. But still, I am taking this risk and will now happily blurt out my plans.


Birth of the self-procliamed great idea: It all started as a childhood dream. I dreamt of becoming a security guard for RBI. But then I never got a chance to fulfill my dream. Not the one to give up so easily, I started getting trained for the coveted watchman profession. But little did I know that one of my blogger dost Parikshith was being trained for the same. Not just he, even a guy from my building always had an eye on the third floor of the opposite building. I am still curious to know what's so special about that third floor except for the girl who wears short skirts and walks down the lane??????? Anyways, the competition has increased and I am in no mood to sacrifice my sleep for this profession. So I have given up the previous idea and am now all set to start my own CCD.

CCD and it's USP: No, no dont mistake me. I am NOT talking about Cafe Coffee Day. I am talking about my CCD (Cutting Chai Dukaan). The USP of my Dukaan would be to serve garma garam chai for just Rs. 2.50 and to serve it almost instantaneously. And oh yes the hygiene would surely be taken care of. Afterall, humein aapki (aur aapke paise kii) Chinta (read: zaroorat) hain.

Flavors available: Like the original CCD, we too shall introduce some naya naya flavors. But yes my favorite adrak wali chai and my health CON-scious friend's favorite Lemon tea would surely be available.

My brand ambassador: Now, yeh badi lambi kahani hain...will tell you some other day as to why he is my brand ambassador.

(and no, he shall not welcome you this way..so chill)

And now the capital: To start anything, we need money (in angrezi), paisa (in almost all languages), panam (in my mother tongue) or in bijnees sorry business lingo...they call it CAPITAL. Right from doodh to chai patti to kursi and table and my CCD executive (jazzy name for chai deliverywala), I need paisa. Initially I thought of issuing IPO for collecting funds for my CCD. But then I want better ideas for this.

So here's your chance my blogger doston...scratch your head, put your brains to work and come up with an idea for collecting initial funds for my business venture. I promise you...if your idea works, I will name my chai after your name like: Sangeeta Masala chai, Sid Lemon Tea and so on. Ok fine, I will give better names don't worry. And yes, you will also get free chai everytime you come to my humble CCD.